Today I spent some time reflecting, journaling, and praying through 2008. I have much to be thankful for, and much to give God praise for. It is humbling to see His faithfulness over the course of the year. I made note of different opportunities that He gave me in ministry, relational blessings, financial provisions, and ways in which He has stretched me and grown me.
However, at the same time I have come into the end of this year feeling tired, anxious, and struggling to trust Him in areas of uncertainty. I am thankful in some ways for this odd tension of a mindfulness of His faithfulness and power, and at the same time a wrestling in my spirit to fully trust and follow. It has put me on my knees, literally. I have not been one to pray on my knees, but have been intentional in assuming this posture lately. This has been both a blessing and a challenge (I highly recommend it, if you don't). As my good friend Aaron recently wrote (paraphrasing) as prayer becomes more habitual and more intentional, there is a "weightyness" that comes with it.
So I head into 2009 needy, needy to depend much on Him, needy to stay on my knees.
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