On Saturday I was able to spend the day with my family in South Haven. We got together to celebrate my sister Anne's 33rd birthday. After spending time together on the beach, we all went out to dinner at Clementines. Just after most of us had finished with our meals, my nephew Carson (age 3) asked me if I would take him to the bathroom. I grabbed his hand and we headed off to the men's room. When we got inside, he first walked towards the stalls - only to discover that they were occupied. Next he assessed the urinal situation - 2 full size and 1 "short urinal." This particular "short urinal" was technically still too high for him, but he would not be denied. He dropped his pants to his ankles, thus exposing his backside and most of his legs (this produced grins and chuckles from the other men entering the rest room). He then stood on his tip toes so that he could reach the urinal. He literally rested "his equipment" on the urinal rim. For those of you who don't know much about "urinal rims," they are not the cleanest or most sanitary surfaces. Nonetheless Carson did not want any assistance from his uncle Dave at this point. A few minutes in he turned to me and stated, "I think I need to sit down." So we headed for the newly opened stall. I wiped down the seat and made a "paper throne" for him. I then lifted him up, placed him on the seat, and then stepped outside the stall to wait for him. A few minutes later he announced, "Uncle David I'm done." I walked into the stall to find him with his pants still at his ankles, and with a smile of "a job well done" on his face. I could tell that he needed something, so I asked the question that I was hoping to avoid - "do you need me to wipe you?" He nodded yes. This is where the story really gets good. After indicating his need of assistance, he proceeded to bend over and grab his ankles with his hands. Apparently either his mother or father taught him this procedure to aid "the wiper." I then grabbed the appropriate amount of toilet paper and proceeded to wipe his tiny bottom. As I was wiping him he asked,"it's soft...isn't it?" I almost busted out laughing, but I kept my composure and just smiled at him. I then told him, "Carson you did good." He immediately responded, "no you did good."
It's great to be an uncle!
5 comments:
This story pretty much made my day.
Kids say that darndest things.
Ok, THAT is hilarious!!! That one will get a lot of mileage. You never know, when you are old and gray Carson may have to repay the favor... although by that time you may not be able bend over far enough to grab your ankles. :)
dave this made me laugh outloud in the middle of starbucks! haha
Dave, this really is a hoot! Uncles certainly have to be flexible, as Ben can attest to when he helps out with Rick's kids! Bless you, you never cease to amaze me -- from the sublime to the ridiculous! Love you.
I don't know how I missed this post before, but thanks for sharing. What a hilarious and awesome experience.
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