My Life Be Like Ooh Ahh

The Christian hip hop group Grits used to have a song with a chorus that said, "My life be like, ooh ahh, oohhhhhh...my life be like ooh, ahh, 00hhhh. Times like these that make me say, Lord if you hear me please come my way." It spoke to the ups and downs of the Christian walk and of life and of our ever-present need of the Lord. I have felt very needy (of the Lord) since returning from South Africa. I have felt overwhelmed. I have felt as if my "to-do" list is never-ending. Don't get me wrong, I came back feeling encouraged, and inspired, and renewed from my experiences in South Africa - and in the midst of those emotions and feelings - overwhelmed (My life be like...). I am working on a couple of new programs/outreaches this fall and still have my hand in the other youth outreach elements. And one thing I continue to realize is that I put too much (unrealistic) pressure on myself to "do well." I struggle with perfectionist tendencies - and I realize it. In some ways it's a strength in that it keeps me driven, but at the same time it can be a weakness and drain me emotionally. I have also felt, in recent days (and before), completely inadequate in my ministry role. I told a co-worker today, "I really don't know what I'm doing." Any other ministry people feel me on this one? (I know this can happen in other areas/roles - husband, father, vocation, etc.). I have also felt a renewed sense of the significance/urgency to the work to which the Lord has called me (and for this I am grateful).

I have had brothers come to me before and shared transparently about feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and inadequate. Mainly, I have listened. Sometimes I have shared that "it is a good place to be" because it means that we have to lean fully on God - His strength, His grace, His wisdom, etc. Sometimes it's hard to internalize how I would counsel someone else. Sometimes it's hard to internalize what I know to be true in God's Word.

I read James 1 this morning, and it reminded me of an old song by the Winans called "Count It All Joy." It went something like this..."Count it all joy, even when it seems to hard to. Know, He'll never give you more than you can handle." I was reminded today to "abide in Christ" - John 15. I prayed Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in all the earth."

This afternoon and evening I taught two orientation sessions with Moody Bible students who will be volunteering with us, I assisted with a parents orientation for parents of the students in our tutoring program, I walked home and had an encouraging conversation with a neighbor I hadn't met before - and I loved all of the above. As I sit here after a day FULL of activity, I am grateful for what God is doing in my life. I continue to learn the lesson of what it means to "press into" Him.