Reflecting on my Re-birth on my Birthday

From the time I was born up until about the 4th or 5th grade, my family was very active in our church – First Baptist Church of Paw Paw. My parents were youth leaders for a few years there, my dad ministered through music, and my mom was active in women’s ministry. I was faithfully in Sunday school and church. We also went to AWANA club (A Bible club for kids) every Thursday evening at the local elementary school. Church was very much a part of my life, and for the most part I enjoyed it. I loved the Bible stories. I liked the challenge of memorizing Scriptures. My life was impacted by several of the adult leaders at the church. I heard the gospel of Jesus Christ often – that He is God who became a man, lived a sinless life, and willingly died on the cross for my sins and for the sins of the world, and then raised from the dead 3 days later. I loved that story as a kid, and I understood that Jesus was the way to heaven (I wanted no part of hell.). At the age of 6 (approximately) I prayed a prayer of salvation, acknowledging that I was a sinner, accepting Jesus for who He was and his payment on the cross for my sins, and inviting Him into my life. My Sunday school teachers assured me that I was saved. However, in the next 2 or 3 years at a couple of different youth events – when they gave an invitation for salvation, I went forward again just to make sure that it had “stuck.”

Then in about the 4th or 5th grade the church we were attending “split.” There were sexual molestation accusations made by one family against another family. What was once a growing, healthy church was now split in half. Our family left the church. We began going to church in a neighboring town, but we never really got connected like we had been at our last church. If fact, our attendance became very inconsistent to almost non-existent at times. As I entered into junior high, although I considered myself a Christian, my faith in Christ had no impact upon my life. The things I cared about the most were sports, trying to fit in, and getting good grades – probably in that order. Those priorities carried over into high school. I had “hoop dreams” as I envisioned myself playing college and potentially even professional basketball some day. Then as I began playing high school football, I began to develop college football aspirations as well. I worked very hard, lifting weights, conditioning my body, working on my game(s) with a lot of intensity. I dedicated my high school summers to preparing for the football and basketball seasons that lie ahead. In the classroom, I pushed myself just as hard. At the end of my high school years, I had earned student and athlete of the year honors at Paw Paw High School. Those are great accomplishments. However, the problem was that my whole identity was wrapped up in who I was primarily as an athlete and secondarily as a student. God really didn’t fit into my equation. Oh sure, I thanked him after a good game and I prayed to him before a big test, but that is pretty much the extent. I had placed God in the backseat of my life, and only turned to him during emergencies. In spite of my distancing myself from God, I wasn’t necessarily living a “crazy, immoral lifestyle.” I was trying to be the “good kid.” However, I wasn’t trying to please God, I was trying to please my parents, my teachers, my coaches, etc. Truth be told, I was dead in my sins. I thought I was self-sufficient, I was giving into my lusts, and I was enslaved to people pleasing.

I headed to Albion College in the fall of 1996. The summer leading into that fall, I decided to give both basketball and football a try. I worked hard to earn a spot as a quarterback on the roster, only to have my position changed and to have a place on the “scout team.” In basketball, I came off the bench on the jayvee team (at Div. 3 Albion). In the classroom, I was challenged like never before and feeling very average. My high school girlfriend and I broke up. I gave the “party scene” a brief stint, but that just wasn’t me no matter how hard I wanted it to be or tried to make it to be. I even got caught with alcohol in my dorm and got placed in social probation first semester. I was broken and humbled and I was asking one main question, “who am I?” This is where God made the move on me. I believe that God in His Sovereignty removed the things in my life that I had elevated over Him. He brought me to a place where my notions of self-sufficiency were crushed. In the midst of this, he put key Christian brothers in my life. The guy across the hall named Donny really impacted me. He was a football player too. He could be found reading the Bible in the early morning, and sometimes in the late evening. He would also play his guitar and sing worship songs. In the football locker room he modeled integrity and character no matter what was being discussed. He was my same age, but he loved Jesus, and he lived for Jesus, and he stood out on campus.

I was at a crossroads. It was either time to truly follow Christ for myself, or to simply live for me. The faith of my grandparents and parents wasn’t going to cut it. My faith had to become my own. Jesus had to become real to me. That freshman year of college, Jesus rocked me. I didn’t do anything to earn my way to God, Jesus did it all for me. I began to learn that my true identity was “in Christ” – 2 Corinthians 5:17. My life has not been the same since. It has been an adventure. Jesus is so much more than a ticket to heaven, He is what makes life worth living. He has become and is becoming my life. He came down, He died for me, He forgave me, He raised me up, He adopted me as His son, and He has given my life purpose and joy (Ephesians 2:8-10).

I am thankful today on my 32nd birthday for all that Jesus has done and will continue to do in my life!